The Classic Pest

It was the first test in my collegiate music history class, and I’d spent hours getting my Bachs, Beethovens, and Mozarts straight so I could regurgitate who did what where, when, and how. I was ready for anything. Anything. My professor walked into the room with… a record player.

Uh oh.

He strolled down to the far end of the room, plugged in the player, and asked everyone to come grab a piece of paper. A blank… piece of paper.

Double uh oh.

I wandered back to my desk, just as my professor said, “I hope you’ve been studying the listening list. This will be your entire test. I’m going to drop this needle twelve times. Please number your pages one through 12 and write down the song and composer. Here’s number one.”

My test results were… decidedly number two. I had not been studying the listening list, and didn’t get a single one right. Sweet start. I determined my next try would go decidedly better. It surely couldn’t get any worse. Happily, I didn’t miss another song that year. Even more happily, I discovered that I’d already learned more about classical music than I’d ever realized after years of Looney Tunes. Thank god for Saturday morning and sugar cereal.

I also stumbled across a musical version of onomatopoeia, in Bedrich Smetana’s Die Moldau, a work “describing” a famous river in his homeland of Czechoslovakia. The song begins with a trickle matching the tiny stream that forms the headwaters of what eventually becomes a massive flowing river. Past waterfalls and rivulets, Smetana takes us on an orchestral journey down the national river that nearly subdivides his country. It’s a remarkable piece of music that describes everything… without a single word. Admittedly, I was hooked.

And still, after four years of needle-dropping, and a world of discovery, no song probably better described its subject as well as Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumblebee. Even if you don’t know this one by name, you’ll know the song when you hear it. Plus, just watch Katica Illényi go…

It’s a bumblebee, isn’t it? Or a fly. A gnat. A mosquito? It is a pest of the highest order, and it’s buzzing around your head in that way that is simply NOT going to allow you to ignore it until you take care of it. The conductor leading with a flyswatter is actually a nice touch.

Now play that music again and watch this guy defend against a guy who knows a little about pesky D…

The music fits, doesn’t it? Pesky doesn’t begin to describe it. The league’s oldest (and shortest?) rookie is making a name for himself, and not only as an irritant. Facundo Campazzo has lit up Denver Nuggets basketball with his indefatigable effort and skillset.

Defense? Facu knows defense. It’s not just Hall of Fame-caliber defender Chris Paul finding Campazzo’s buzzing a nuisance. All Star Luka Doncic? Well, he can speak for himself…

A pain in the ass. That’s a fair description for it. You can even see his teammates trying not to get frustrated during the practice footage that follows Doncic’s assessment. His 35 steals slot him in as one of the 100 best (73rd) in the league this season, even in his limited minutes coming off the bench. That stat is almost understandable, as Facu is closer to the floor than most of his peers, and has a shot at every ball bouncing back up off the dribble. An even greater barometer of his insane level of effort is the seven blocks he’s posted on the season, averaging 0.2 per game, ranking him in the top 200 (173rd) in that category. Facu will body up a guy a foot taller than him. He’ll dive after loose balls, knock inbound passes off of the intended recipient, and generally just pain in the ass you to death.

He’s not so bad on the other end of the court, either.

Colorado sports has a famous history of those pests that you hate to see on the other team, but love to see on your own. Claude Lemieux, Steve Foley, Walt Weiss, and more have made a pastime and paycheck out of climbing under the other guy’s skin and just buzzing until he finally goes crazy and runs the other way. Facundo Campazzo may be driving the other side buggy, but he’s got Denver Nuggets fans all abuzz. Effort for days, and persistently pesky?

Classic.