Character

Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.

– Dennis Prager

When I was five, we’d recently arrived home from the grocery store when my mom saw me eating a candy bar in my bedroom. She walked into the room to see a pile of candy sitting on my bed. She asked where I’d gotten it, and I blatantly lied and told her a friend had given it to me. She’d seen most of the kinds of candy laying there in an endcap display at the store we’d recently visited. We put the remaining candy, including the half-eaten bar into a grocery bag, and walked all the way back to the store, so I could return it and apologize. I sweated the entire walk, imagining the anger of the man at the counter, and wondering if I’d be going to jail or simply mopping a store floor until I was an adult.

The man behind the counter was stern through my fear and tears, but understanding that mom was simply trying to teach me a lesson. Together, they watched me corral about a dozen carts from the empty parking lot before they decided I’d worked off my half-eaten candy bar, and mom and I said very little on the way home as I snuffled all the way. It was a great lesson in character and doing the right thing. I had similar moments over the years with both of my daughters. Your kid or not, what’s right is right.

When Urban Meyer decided not to fly home with his team several weeks back without notifying the organization, it was questionable enough call to make. Getting caught with a young woman who was not his wife dancing far too close to his lap was even more worrisome, but after his apology for getting caught in the act, there was even more damning evidence to follow of Meyer fondling the posterior of someone who appeared to be the same person. Meyer’s wife and daughter were left to explain their simultaneous disappointment and defense of the family patriarch. Meyer didn’t show much, if any, character, he simply yet again decided to be one.

When Jay Norvell spent time as an assistant coach or coordinator at impressive schools like UCLA, Oklahoma, Texas, and Arizona State, he earned the respect and loyalty of both the coaches above him and the kids who were under his tutelage, speaking of each of his stops when he finally earned his first head coaching gig at Nevada. Norvell gave thanks to the people who had not only taught him, but had learned from him. Not much of a character. But wow… loads of character.

When Urban Meyer threw his assistant coaches under the bus for the failures of his Jacksonville Jaguars team this season, he not only denied the report, and threatened to immediately fire the person who’d tattled, but also seemed to have forgotten that he was the person who had hired them all int he first place.

When Jay Norvell went 3-9 in his first season at Nevada, he not only lauded the tenacity and character of his squad and staff, but placed the successes of the season squarely on their shoulders and efforts, but took the failures of the season upon himself, and talked about the learning experiences of the year and how they would all carry them forward into the following season.

When Urban Meyer kicked his kicker, hired a strength and conditioning coach who has known issues as a racist, oversaw a number of collegiate teams that had issues with the law, or any other number of eyebrow-raising issues, he deflected fault and blame to circumstances, timing, or other people. Somehow, with a constant swirl of trouble and bullsh– around him, the fault has never been his. Just bad luck, I suppose. What a character.

When Jay Norvell moved to Colorado State University to take over their football program, he not only lauded and thanked the Nevada program that had given him his first chance, but ended up with a wealth of staff and players following him to Fort Collins. Norvell has the loyalty and respect of most everyone around him, as he is consistently described as a person of honor who is willing to not only demand excellence from others, but to show it in himself. He still passes the credit of successes along to those around him, and lets the buck of failure stop at his desk. So. Much. Character.

Meyer will probably find another coaching stop at a program desperate for wins, though he’s probably burned his pro career forever. What he probably won’t find is the character to make himself a better human along the way.

What Norvell brings to the Colorado State program is a lot more than the collection of humans who have followed him and would run through a wall for him. He brings years of a proof of character, hard work, and dedication that will only make the Rams and their football program into a better place.

Years from now, Meyer will still be the more famous of the two, due to both the level of programs he coached, and the plethora of newsworthy mistakes he made. But when it comes down to it all, there will be one of the two you’d be proud to work with, play for, or simply stand by.

In the end, it’s one thing to be a character, but that doesn’t determine if you are a good person or a bad one. It’s far more important and impressive to have character. Have it. Don’t be it.