Von Miller’s availability for the rest of the season boils down to one thing

ENGLEWOOD, Colo. — Von Miller desperately wanted to play on Sunday.

He convinced himself he was going to play. He went through his pre-game rituals. His mind was ready to go. He was set to play.

“I took it all the way up to the deadline and just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even say it. I couldn’t even say I wasn’t playing, I had to let them make that call,” Von Miller said on Thursday, reflecting back to the painful moment on Sunday when reality set.

“It was hard. It was extremely hard. I cried real tears—a 30-year old man. It was extremely hard for me.”

The injury that ended Von’s streak of starting 95 consecutive games dates back to the week before in Buffalo. It was revealed Thursday that Von injured his MCL in the first half against the Bills, but played the rest of the game relatively unbothered until the end of the game.

“That last four minutes of the game when they were running the ball, I kind of stepped wrong and it was out of there,” Miller explained. “Usually I’m pretty good with injuries and staying out of piles, but that one just found me.”

Von physically could have played on Sunday against the Chargers, one week after injuring his MCL, but he believed he would have been a liability to his team if he did.

“MCL is just such an important ligament, especially with my game. If I was standing back off the ball or playing d-tackle or something like that, inside backer or anything like that, but all of the exotic movements, I really can’t do it. My game has a foundation of exotic movements,” Miller said, shedding light onto what makes his game elite.

Von’s always been an exotic player and person—as he happily showcased on Thursday, joking he could be a chicken farmer or comedian if it weren’t for football. He wasn’t the second-overall pick because of his jokes or 40-yard time. It was for his unmatched bend and, well, exotic moves he uses to take down opposing offenses.

And with his MCL sprain, those exotic moves are foreign to him right now.

“I’m already undersized. I’m already undersized. I already play my position undersized, so when you take away the exotic movements that make me who I am, it changes the type of player that I am,” Miller stated, accepting the harsh reality. “I’ve got to be able to get that back to go out there and play. If I don’t have that back, then I need to take time to get back right. If I can get that back, and get the exotic moves back, then I’ll have an opportunity.”

Hours before Sunday’s game, Miller tested his knee out in an extensive workout with trainers watching. Von actually felt fine about his ability to rush the passer, but when it came to playing the run “it just wasn’t there at all,” he said.

Although Thursday marked the second-consecutive day Von practiced, and Vic Fangio expecting him to do a “fair amount” in practice, the prospects of him playing on Sunday are very much up in the air.

“I’m just still taking it day by day,” Von said, adding he’s uncertain if he’ll play on Sunday. “I’m getting better every day. If I can’t get my exotic movements back, in my opinion, I don’t think I should be out there.”

Von’s absence could very well extend past Sunday’s upcoming game against the Texans, too. The Super Bowl 50 MVP hasn’t thought about shutting it down for the season as football and taking down the quarterback are “sown” into his identity, but he’s not going to put himself or his team in jeopardy if he’s truly not ready to play.

“It’s not something that I just get over like that,” he said, revealing the injury was more severe than the media was initially led to believe. “It takes a little bit of healing time, but I do feel better. I feel better than how I did yesterday. That’s all I can ever really hope for.”

Many players that avoid injuries in sports are labeled as an “Iron Man.” Von said he’s been more like “Wolverine” due to his quick recovery from injuries in the past. But this one has been too significant for him to shake.

“My main focus is just getting healthy again, taking whatever time that may be to get healthy,” Von melancholy explained. “I’m doing everything I could possibly do… Whatever it is that I can do, whatever the trainers need me to do, whatever we can do as a whole, I’m doing it.”

The good news is Von’s feeling better each and every day. The bad news is with 72 hours until game time, there appears to still be a significant amount of doubt in Von’s mind for whether he’ll be ready to play on Sunday. The ugly news is there’s no sign Sunday will be the last time this impacts whether or not he plays.