TGBU's Christmas wish list for the Avalanche

As Christmas approaches, writing a letter to Santa Clause may be the best way to help the Colorado Avalanche. To quote a well-known Christmas song – “All I want for Christmas…is Wins”.

Dear Santa Claus,

The Colorado Avalanche hockey team really needs your help this year. They have been going through a rough patch so this year’s Christmas wish list is all about helping them.

1. Please help Colorado change their mindset so they can find a way to win games, instead of inventing new ways to lose. Having lost seven straight home games is disheartening. Maybe they could use some of your Christmas grog to perk up their spirits and help them find creative ways to approach the games.

2. Alternate Captain Matt Duchene earned four points in the past week with two goals and two assists. He needs only one more point to earn career point 400. Might you be able to arrange for him to get some scoring assistance as well as some recognition of his hard work? It’s boring hearing people whine about his production when he is the team’s point leader. Also, could you bring him an extra big dog bone for his dog? And maybe some cheerful Christmas carols.

3. Thank you for helping the Avalanche successfully kill off all 10 short-handed situations this past week. Could you help them overcome giving up short-handed goals in crucial moments as well? Maybe threaten them with a fruit cake?

4. Perhaps you could also do something to impart some confidence on defenseman Tyson Barrie. He was on the ice for all four goals against in the Winnipeg Jets game, including a couple of cringeworthy turnovers. Maybe try him out at forward to see if that would help him regain his rhythm? He did manage 10 shots on goal, trailing only Jarome Iginla at 11 for shots this past week. Maybe he needs some candy canes?

5. Defenseman Nikita Zadorov has really started to develop for the team. Yet, he seems overlooked. Maybe you could decorate his locker with some flashing Christmas lights so the coach remembers to use him more? Or, add tinsel to his skates?

6. Thank you for the gifts in the Avalanche system, something sorely lacking in the past. First round draft pick Tyson Jost just scored two goals for team Canada in the World Juniors pre-tourney game, J.T. Compher has returned from injury to start scoring again for the Rampage along with gritty linemate A.J. Greer. And injured defenseman Chris Bigras looks likely to return to San Antonio’s lineup. Maybe you could wrap them in bubble wrap as they continue to develop? And give them lots of hot chocolate to distract them from the Avalanche’s current struggles.

7. Could you please sprinkle some magic dust from the North Pole to speed up the healing of defenseman Erik Johnson’s broken leg? The defense has really struggled without him. And maybe give him a nice Christmas sweater, maybe with an ‘A’ on it. Oh yeah, and may his thoroughbred diversion bring him great joy while he recovers.

8. Veteran Jarome Iginla has been getting lots of ice time on the power play and leads the team with 11 shots on goal this past week. But he has also stated he would like to play for a Stanley Cup, which seems very far away for Colorado right now. So, could you either help the Avalanche rebound and make it to the playoffs, or provide an amazing trade where Iginla gets to play for the Cup and the Avalanche get either great prospects or some quality forward help? Good gifts all around.

9. Some of the NHL officiating crew really earned some coal in their stockings with the weird embellishment calls on the Avalanche of late. Gabriel Landeskog received one when tripped by Florida Panther Seth Griffith (who deserves a whole train car of coal) and Zadorov had a similar questionable call the previous week.

10. On the flip side, the NHL office appears to have received their gift basket. Captain Gabriel Landeskog received no suspension for his hit on Raffi, which was the right ruling. Maybe you could send them another one, Santa, just to keep the Avalanche from falling into future disfavor. And maybe send Landeskog a barrel of warm gluhwein for playing with heart.

11. Nathan MacKinnon looks like he needs some elves to restore his joy. His play this past week looked like the weight of trying to carry the team exhausted him. His shots have decreased and he’s been on the ice for some costly goals. Maybe he needs a brief respite at the North Pole so he can remember hockey really is fun.

12. The Avalanche goaltenders could really use some better defensive play by both their forwards and their defenseman so they face fewer breakaway shots, aren’t screened by their own guys, and players who know how to clear the puck up ice to a teammate instead of an opponent. Maybe you could inspire them with a resounding chorus of Jingle Bells. And keep repeating it until they get it right.

13. For Coach Bednar, perhaps you could bring him a Charlie Brown Christmas tree until he starts explaining some of his moves. There is hope for his system, but relying on Iginla and Barrie so heavily on the power play, the odd usage of an improved Zadorov, and the inability of the team to play a quality game for a full 60 minutes raises some questions. He must have his reasons. Could he share them with the class, please?

14. Finally, for all the frustrated Avalanche fans out there, can you impart hope for things to improve, for their team to be something they can be proud of and elevate Colorado’s play where every game can be exciting, regardless of outcome? And remember, for the first time in years, Santa has presents in the pipeline. Maybe the fans can have the full 12 days of Christmas this year, with each upcoming game bringing a new level of fun and excitement back to the fanbase.

So far this year, the Avalanche sleigh ride has provided more ho-hum than ho-ho. But fear not, Christmas is nigh and it is a season of miracles. So keep your head up and, in the words of Santa Claus –

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

(Since Santa Claus will be spending next week recovering from Christmas festivities, there will not be a TGBU. Never fear, though, as it will return the following week to launch the New Year).