The awful fantasy team that beat you in week 5

Just how frustrating is fantasy football? Well, Jamaal Charles has once again torn his ACL, ending his season, along with his owners’ season. Charles was living up to the hype of being a top-5 pick in most fantasy drafts, averaging 15 fantasy points through the first five games of the season (2nd among running backs) until he got hurt. Still, the majority of first-round running backs have proved to be monumental disappointments. Adrian Peterson, Matt Forte and Le’Veon Bell are exemptions, but Eddie Lacy, Marshawn Lynch, C.J. Anderson and Demarco Murray are making a lot of fantasy owners never want to participate in fantasy football ever again.

Aside from a solid week one in Chicago (15 fantasy points), Eddie Lacy hasn’t done anyone any favors, ranking 30th among running backs. Marshawn Lynch got paid, then decided to fall off the face of the earth, ranking 53rd among running backs (24 spots behind his backup, Thomas Rawls). Rawls, in fact, scored more points on Sunday (22) than Lynch has all year (19). Demarco Murray woke up a bit last week, rushing for 83 yards on 20 carries and a touchdown, but he still ranks 24th among running backs, tied with his backup Ryan Matthews.

Then, mush to the dismay of Broncos fans, there’s C.J. Anderson. Oh C.J., where for art thou? Anderson, who was considered by many to be a top-five fantasy back at the beginning of the season, has not scored more than 6 fantasy points in a game. The saddest part about that? His backup Ronnie Hillman almost reached that total on one run (his 70-yard touchdown scamper in week 4 against Minnesota). I left LeSean McCoy off of the list above because he was a 2nd round pick, but his lack of production will not go unnoticed as he is averaging almost half as many points per game as his “backup,” rookie Karlos Williams (Williams-10.0 ppg, McCoy-5.2ppg)

Before this season began, if you told me Andy Dalton would, at any point during the season, be the top fantasy point-scorer, I would have seen to it that you were locked away in an insane asylum. You would’ve been roommates with the guy that thought Devonta Freeman was going to be a viable fantasy option. Freeman wasn’t even supposed to start this year! As a matter of fact, if Tevin Coleman doesn’t get hurt, Freeman would be an afterthought. And hey, as long as we’re talking about guys who weren’t supposed to do anything, I can’t forget to mention Tyron Taylor (t-4th among fantasy quarterbacks) who had to win the starting job from former 1st round pick and current 1st round bust, E.J. Manuel. The best part about that? Taylor used to backup Joe Flacco in Baltimore, who ranks 14th among fantasy quarterbacks and averages 5.2 less points per week than Taylor.   

As of week five, the Jacksonville Jaguars have the highest scoring wide receiver duo in the NFL with Allen Robinson ranking 8th among fantasy wide receivers (12.4 ppg) and Allen Hurns ranking 11th (11.4 ppg). Just to put that into perspective, Robinson has scored just two fewer points on the season than consensus preseason number one fantasy wide receiver Antonio Brown and Hurns has scored as many points as the Patriots number one wide receiver, Julian Edelman.

The easiest thing you could have predicted was that Gronk would be the number one tight end. Although he has scored just one more point than second place tight end Tyler Eifert, he has also played in one less game than Eifert. The biggest surprise at tight end has been Gary Barnidge, who appeared in this article a few weeks ago. Barnidge is the 3rd-ranked fantasy tight end and has scored a touchdown in three straight weeks. Not bad for a guy who before this season was best known for banging a couple of WWE divas (http://www.foxsports.com/buzzer/story/summer-rae-rosa-mendes-gary-barnidge-total-divas-101314).

Here is The Awful Fantasy Team That Beat Your Team in week 5:

QUARTERBACK

Josh McCown – Cleveland Browns: 35 points. Owned in 4.3% of leagues, started in 2.5% of leagues

-For the second straight week, McCown finds himself on this list. Maybe he’s not as awful as we once thought. He did, however, throw for a staggering 457 yards against the Ravens in Baltimore and has thrown for 1,154 yards and 6 touchdowns in his last three games. In that span, he has only thrown one interception in 141 attempts. Despite his recent good fortune, I feel as though his luck is about to run out. Next week, McCown takes his talents to Denver to face a Broncos defense that is giving up an average of 7.2 fantasy points per game to opposing quarterbacks, good for best in the league. After that, he’ll travel to St. Louis, then back home against Arizona, and then on the road again to Cincinnati. His hot streak ends now.

RUNNING BACK

RB Thomas Rawls – Seattle Seahawks: 22 points. Owned in 44.2% of leagues, started in 25.3% of leagues

-Thomas Rawls was born in Flint, Michiagn, home of Jackie Moon and the Flint Tropics. Rawls is an undrafted rookie out of Central Michigan and most experts thought of him as a Semi Pro at best. However, he proved them wrong by punching the Bengals run defense in the jejunum to the tune of 169 yards and a touchdown. His fantasy owners loved him sexy last week as he provided them with 22 fantasy points. Rawls ran as though the fate of the Mega Bowl hung in the balance. Coffee Black would have been proud. This concludes the “Semi Pro” portion of this excerpt. Bottom line, Lynch will return next week, but stash Rawls on your bench the way Lynch stashes his weed, because I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of the pride of Flint.

RB Charles Sims – Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 13 points. Owned in  33.6% of leagues, started in 9.5% of leagues

-Although he has only rushed for 85 yards in the last three games, Sims has caught nine passes for 156 yards and 2 touchdowns in that span. He’s behind Doug Martin on the depth chart (who currently ranks 3rd among fantasy running back) but the Bucs are still finding a way to use him. Sims is tough to bring down in the open field and will spell Martin from time to time, but he doesn’t have much value going forward unless you’re in a PPR league and own one of the aforementioned running back busts listed above.

FLEX WR

Marquess Wilson – Chicago Bears: 14 points. Owned in 5.2% of leagues, started in 3.9% of leagues

-For those of you that may have picked up Wilson and played him last week I commend you. He was coming off of a 6 catch, 80-yard performance the week before against Oakland and was the top pass catcher available for the Bears with Alshon Jeffery and Eddie Royal out. He hauled six of his eight targets on Sunday, and only Martellus Bennett (11) was targeted more. Wilson was a 7th round pick in 2013 out of Washington State where he set the school’s all-time receiving yardage record. At 6’4″ he is a big, reliable target. Even when Jeffery and Royal return, I expect Wilson to be a factor.

WR Jaelen Strong – Houston Texans: 17 points. Owned in 1.4% of leagues, started in 0.1% of leagues

-Let’s face it, not even Jaelen Strong has Jaelen Strong on his fantasy teams. Prior to last Thursday night’s game, Strong did not have one career reception. In week five, not only did he record his first ever NFL catch, but also his first (and second) NFL touchdowns. It’s always a thrill for your first catch to go for a tocuhdown, but Strong one-upped himself when his second career catch also went for a touchdown…and because I don’t know anyone who works for the Elias Sports Bureau, I can’t tell you who, if anyone, has ever done that before. What I can tell you is that he’s 6’4″, 205 pounds, went to Arizona State, is a rookie who was drafted in the 3rd round (despite being considered a late 1st round talent) and enjoys long walks on the because with that special someone.  

WR Josh Huff – Philadelphia Ducks Eagles: 13 points. Owned in 0.3% of leagues, started in 0% of leagues

-Josh Huff played at Oregon with Chip Kelly and now he plays in Philadelphia with Chip Kelly. Coincidence? No. Especially considering that a lot of experts thought Huff would go undrafted instead of being selected in the 3rd round. Huff only caught 8 passes in his rookie campaign last year, but has already reached that total this year. He would probably be putting up even better stats if Chip Kelly wasn’t so racist.

TIGHT ENDS

TE Brent Celek – Philadelphia Eagles: 10 points. Owned in 0.7% of leagues, started in 0.2% of leagues

-Back in 2009, Celek caught 76 passes for 971 yards and 8 touchdowns. If you have a chance to pick up 2009 Brent Celek, then definitely do that. If you don’t have a DeLorean, leave him alone.

DEFENSE AND ST

D/ST Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 15 points. Owned in 6.6% of leagues, started in 4.5% of leagues

-The Bucs defense scored the 3rd most fantasy points in week 5 among fantasy defenses. I guess that’s what happens when you get to play the Jaguars. Their run defense held T.J. Yeldon to 32 yards and they scored on a fumble recovery, but they also let Blake Bortles throw for 303 yards and 4 touchdowns. If ever there was a fluke, this was it.

KICKER

K Caleb Sturgis – Philadelphia Eagles: 16 points: Owned in 3.1% of leagues, started in 2.0% of leagues

-For the second time in a row, the highest scoring kicker of the week makes this list. What does that tell us? That kickers are not to be taken seriously from a fantasy standpoint. Two weeks ago, Cairo Santos scored 27 fantasy points after going 7 for 7 in field goals. This past week, after being the most popular waiver wire pickup at his position and 14th most popular waiver wire pickup overall (+22), he makes just 1 of 3 field goals, scores 3 fantasy points, ultimately loses the game for the Chiefs, and infuriates fantasy owners everywhere.  

Total Points Scored: 155